There is no morning after Ro-Ro. It moves out.
First there is light. Then a sound. Then, somewhere inside the head, a person from the technical department turns on the ventilation, which was not in the project. You open your eyes and understand: the body is in Narva, the soul is still standing at the summer bar, and the person has already given the first interview without approval.
In such cases, men's magazines write: “10 ways to quickly get in shape after a party.” This is a lie invented by people who did not leave the club by the river with the feeling that modern culture had personally signed a certificate of temporary disability for them.
There is no need to get in shape after Ro-Ro. The form left before you, took a taxi and no longer answers.
You need to look alive.
Face
There are three types of face after Ro-Ro. The first: “I just didn’t sleep much.” This is the face of a newbie. Second: “I remember everything, but the lawyer forbade it.” This is already the city level. Third: “I was at a cultural event.” You have to be careful with it.
What to do: wash your face with cold water, don’t look at yourself for too long and accept that there are no bags under your eyes now, but an archive of modern Russian-language culture in Estonia.
Cloth
Men's gloss recommends smart casual. After Ro-Ro, this is called “found something clean.” A black T-shirt, jeans that don't ask questions, a "I'm out for a while" jacket, and shoes that can survive the boardwalk, the bar, and the return home along a route you for some reason called short.
Smell
Ro-Ro is good because after it a person smells not of alcohol, but of biography. The smell may include smoke, a river, a grill, someone else's perfume, beer, a summer bar, or a solution that seemed creative yesterday.
Best morning aroma: coffee, soap, medium intensity remorse.
Breakfast
After Ro-Ro, breakfast should not be healthy, but diplomatic. He must come to an agreement with his stomach, head, banking application and the person to whom you said yesterday: “we will definitely do the project.”
Water, coffee, soup, something hot and non-conceptual, bread and mineral water are suitable. Smoothies are not suitable: the body may think that it is being bullied.
Social networks
In the morning after Ro-Ro, social networks should be opened like an old basement: slowly, with a flashlight and without sudden movements. First the story. Then private messages. Then photographs of you standing with the face of the man who has just been appointed in charge of modern culture.
Job
If you work remotely, the camera should be turned off before 11:30. If a camera is mandatory, place the light from the front rather than from above. The overhead light after Ro-Ro turns the face into an exhibit of “a man before municipal reform.”
If you need to write a letter, write briefly: “Good afternoon. Yes, I’ll take a look. I’ll come back with an answer.” Anything else may not be a strategy, but dehydration.
How to understand that you are alive
You are alive, if the word “after” makes you laugh, you can find the keys, remember at least one chorus, don’t argue with water, and are able to write “thank you for the evening” without a philosophical paragraph.
The main sign of life: you promise yourself not to do this again and you already know that this is not true.