Morning after Ro-Ro does not arrive. It rolls in.
First comes light. Then sound. Then, somewhere inside the head, a person from technical support switches on ventilation no one put in the plan. You open your eyes and understand: the body is in Narva, the soul is still standing at the summer bar, and the person has already given the first interview without approval.
In such cases, men's magazines write: “10 ways to recover after a party.” This is a lie invented by people who did not leave the club by the river with the feeling that modern culture had personally signed a certificate of temporary disability for them.
After Ro-Ro, do not get back in shape. Shape left before you, took a taxi and stopped answering.
You need to look alive.
Face
The post-Ro-Ro face comes in three types. First: “I did not sleep much.” Beginner level. Second: “I remember everything, but the lawyer said no.” City level. Third: “I was at a cultural event.” Handle with care.
What to do: wash your face with cold water, don’t look at yourself for too long and accept that there are no bags under your eyes now, but an archive of modern Russian-language culture in Estonia.
Clothes
Men's gloss recommends smart casual. After Ro-Ro, the rule is simpler: find something clean. A black T-shirt, jeans that don't ask questions, a "I'm out for a while" jacket, and shoes that can survive the boardwalk, the bar, and the return home along a route you for some reason called short.
Smell
Ro-Ro is good because after it a person smells not of alcohol, but of biography. The smell may include smoke, a river, a grill, someone else's perfume, beer, a summer bar, or a solution that seemed creative yesterday.
Best morning aroma: coffee, soap, medium intensity remorse.
Breakfast
After Ro-Ro, breakfast should not be healthy. It should be diplomatic. It must negotiate with your stomach, head, banking app and the person to whom you said yesterday: “we will do the project.”
Water, coffee, soup, something hot and non-conceptual, bread and mineral water are suitable. Smoothies do not help: the body may think you are mocking it.
Social media
On the morning after Ro-Ro, open social media like an old basement: with a torch and no sudden movements. First stories. Then private messages. Then photographs of you standing with the face of a person freshly appointed head of modern culture.
Job
If you work remotely, keep the camera off until 11:30. If a camera is mandatory, place the light from the front rather than from above. The overhead light after Ro-Ro turns the face into an exhibit of “a man before municipal reform.”
If you need to write a letter, write briefly: “Good afternoon. Yes, I’ll take a look. I’ll come back with an answer.” Anything else may not be a strategy, but dehydration.
How to understand that you are alive
You are alive, if the word “after” makes you laugh, you can find the keys, remember at least one chorus, don’t argue with water, and are able to write “thank you for the evening” without a philosophical paragraph.
The main sign of life: you promise yourself not to do this again and you already know that this is not true.